Ryoji Mochizuki (Thanatos) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
itsnotaleash) wrote2009-08-30 06:48 pm
itsnotaleash) wrote2009-08-30 06:48 pm
Where did this come from I don't even // OPEN
Thanatos wasn't sure what was going on through his head when he stepped foot in front of this quite familiar door... It was still locked up tight with unbreakable chains, however, dark smoke continued to trickle out from the slight opening at the bottom. Had it really been seven months since he tried to destroy this door until Igor put the chains on it? He could even see the caution tape that had first been put on under the chains. As he set his hand against the door, he realized that lately, it felt like that same smoke trickled out from his own mind. There had been a while where he had true hope, hope he could save Orpheus from ceasing to exist... Until Orpheus started to avoid him, his nightmares became worse and the ancient books he read started to make less sense than usual. Without Orpheus working at his side Thanatos was working slower, without the usual enthusiasm... Once again in a state of utter uselessness.
See, Thanatos knew Orpheus was falling apart from the seams even if Orpheus thought he was oblivious. How could he not notice when he was connected to Orpheus in a way no one else was? He also knew it was all his fault, he had Orpheus promise him not to leave, but... As Orpheus lost hope, so did Thanatos. As much as he loved Orpheus, how could he save someone who didn't want to be saved, who wanted to just cease to exist? It hurt, knowing Orpheus would rather cease to exist then stay...
Thanatos cries out suddenly and wrenches his hand away from the now roaring with laughter door, bringing his hand up to his face as he watches it fade away into Shadow. That was all he was, wasn't he? A Shadow... Ameno-Sagiri's voice was still at the back of his head, booming loudly about the 'truth.'
He touches his still Shadow hand up to his face and finds he can't hold in the tears anymore. He drops to his knees, sobbing his heart out with no remorse. If Orpheus didn't want to be his Assistant, then no one wanted to. He was... A failure as a Fusionist. A failure as anyone... Except as a Shadow. ... No, that wasn't true. He was a failure as a Shadow, as well. He was never supposed to exist... Damn it, what happened to when he was happy with Orpheus...?
"Orpheus, I just didn't want to be alone like this... I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
See, Thanatos knew Orpheus was falling apart from the seams even if Orpheus thought he was oblivious. How could he not notice when he was connected to Orpheus in a way no one else was? He also knew it was all his fault, he had Orpheus promise him not to leave, but... As Orpheus lost hope, so did Thanatos. As much as he loved Orpheus, how could he save someone who didn't want to be saved, who wanted to just cease to exist? It hurt, knowing Orpheus would rather cease to exist then stay...
Thanatos cries out suddenly and wrenches his hand away from the now roaring with laughter door, bringing his hand up to his face as he watches it fade away into Shadow. That was all he was, wasn't he? A Shadow... Ameno-Sagiri's voice was still at the back of his head, booming loudly about the 'truth.'
He touches his still Shadow hand up to his face and finds he can't hold in the tears anymore. He drops to his knees, sobbing his heart out with no remorse. If Orpheus didn't want to be his Assistant, then no one wanted to. He was... A failure as a Fusionist. A failure as anyone... Except as a Shadow. ... No, that wasn't true. He was a failure as a Shadow, as well. He was never supposed to exist... Damn it, what happened to when he was happy with Orpheus...?
"Orpheus, I just didn't want to be alone like this... I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
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