itsnotaleash | Where did this come from I don't even // OPEN

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Where did this come from I don't even // OPEN

Thanatos wasn't sure what was going on through his head when he stepped foot in front of this quite familiar door... It was still locked up tight with unbreakable chains, however, dark smoke continued to trickle out from the slight opening at the bottom. Had it really been seven months since he tried to destroy this door until Igor put the chains on it? He could even see the caution tape that had first been put on under the chains. As he set his hand against the door, he realized that lately, it felt like that same smoke trickled out from his own mind. There had been a while where he had true hope, hope he could save Orpheus from ceasing to exist... Until Orpheus started to avoid him, his nightmares became worse and the ancient books he read started to make less sense than usual. Without Orpheus working at his side Thanatos was working slower, without the usual enthusiasm... Once again in a state of utter uselessness.

See, Thanatos knew Orpheus was falling apart from the seams even if Orpheus thought he was oblivious. How could he not notice when he was connected to Orpheus in a way no one else was? He also knew it was all his fault, he had Orpheus promise him not to leave, but... As Orpheus lost hope, so did Thanatos. As much as he loved Orpheus, how could he save someone who didn't want to be saved, who wanted to just cease to exist? It hurt, knowing Orpheus would rather cease to exist then stay...

Thanatos cries out suddenly and wrenches his hand away from the now roaring with laughter door, bringing his hand up to his face as he watches it fade away into Shadow. That was all he was, wasn't he? A Shadow... Ameno-Sagiri's voice was still at the back of his head, booming loudly about the 'truth.'

He touches his still Shadow hand up to his face and finds he can't hold in the tears anymore. He drops to his knees, sobbing his heart out with no remorse. If Orpheus didn't want to be his Assistant, then no one wanted to. He was... A failure as a Fusionist. A failure as anyone... Except as a Shadow. ... No, that wasn't true. He was a failure as a Shadow, as well. He was never supposed to exist... Damn it, what happened to when he was happy with Orpheus...?

"Orpheus, I just didn't want to be alone like this... I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

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The residents of the Velvet Room were her best friends - back home. Nanako wasn't too sure about these ones, but Orpheus was the same as ever, albeit a bit more recalcitrant. Who wouldn't? Two years instead of ten. Two years of being the real thing instead of the backup.

"Maybe you should tell him that in person, you know," she mutters, tentatively stepping towards him.

"How could I tell him that in person if he keeps avoiding me in the first place?"

"...he won't be able to avoid you forever."

Because uh, sooner or later - if she figured right - he won't be able to move at all.

"He's sure trying to..."

"Come on, be logical," she cajoles, leaning against a nearby doorframe. "You know he always comes back to you. It might just take...a long time, right?"

"Don't - " She snaps her mouth shut at this. How much does Thanatos know of how much she knows? Saying don't lose hope was just prolonging the pain. "...maybe you should move away from that door, Thanatos."

"Y-Yeah... He always comes back to me."

So why did he still sound so hollow inside as he spoke? There was definitely something else going on here that Thanatos didn't have any control over at the moment. Anyway, he looks back at the door and frowns. "There's no way I'm getting inside of that door ... Not while it's chained like that. ...Those are unbreakable."

"So you're saying if it's unlocked, you'd go inside, then?"

It looks like the last Door of the Abyss, and she doesn't like it.

"I would go inside and fight Erebus...

Do something useful for once."

"...fight Erebus?"

That draws a blank. She doesn't know anything about Erebus, only about Nyx and Elizabeth and -

"What? Who's Erebus?"

"Yes, fight Erebus. If you don't know who Erebus is, then you aren't supposed to know..."

However, some convincing will most likely get him to talk. Especially in this state where Erebus is... Everywhere.

Thanatos?

"... Teddie? H-Hey..."

What's wrong?

Thanatos immediately hides his Shadow hand behind his back, not really wanting Teddie to see him like this. "... I suppose I've been more depressed than usual... Sorry, if I've worried you."

What happened?

[The good side to being ridiculously zoned out: you don't have to think about that constant pounding in your head or that black smog obscuring your vision or why it's suddenly getting so much harder to move. Just blissful freedom from all of it. Which is even greater of a good thing right now since thinking on what had just happen would probably make it even worse. Ah, but the down side?

You're completely absent to the world around you.

So he didn't even realize what area of the mall he was in, that he was heading subconsciously to the area with that door in general, or to the fact that someone was right there in his way. Resulting in walking right into the Thanatos on the ground and hitting the ground with no remorse. Not moving for a few moments. Blink. ... Sahhhh still can't see.]

Watch it.

[It lacks nearly all of the vindication that you'd expect to be shot with it, but at least it makes it obvious that he still hasn't seen exactly who he just tripped over.]

Well, what just occurred while Thanatos had his Shadow hand against his face was definitely something a lot different than usual. This is the first time he's been on his knees and has had someone trip over him out of nowhere like this. He sits up a bit but only removes the hand from his face when he hears that voice -

"O-Orpheus?"

Watch as he completely ignores the fact Orpheus just tripped over him as well as ignore what it was Orpheus said out loud after said tripping over him... After all it was Orpheus. Talk about a distraction ball to stop Thanatos from crying his heart out. ... Also, he's going to be hiding his hand behind his back now. Not that Orpheus would be able to see it all zoned out like he was, anyway... Unless he could sense it, of course.

[Oh, he could sense it. Easily. The only things keeping him from asking about it and/or putting two and two together is said zoned out state. He's already having a hard enough time keeping his consciousness in some relative semblance of function. Try to throw in actual coherent thought processes? Ah... no way man. Would rather just lie here on the tile until this migraine goes away-- oh wait he said something.

Blink. Then slowly forces himself up a bit, only enough to be propped on one elbow, other hand holding his head in an attempt to help smack off that dizziness. Nothing doing.] Mn.

[Actually looking at him now. Forcing himself to focus past that haze. And while you can visibly tell his eyes are glazed and unfocused, they narrow just enough for Thanatos to know he just caught the tears.]

What's wrong?

"There's nothing wrong, I ..."

I'm so lonely now, why do you keep avoiding me, what did I do wrong this time I never wanted to hurt you I just wanted to save you so that you'd never have to suffer anymore I'm sorry I'm so sorry - Keeps his dominant hand behind his back due to obvious Shadow reasons but uses the other to wipe the tears out of his eyes. Everything inside of him, especially his heart, felt so wrong the more Orpheus forgot why he was the Seal. Meanwhile, Erebus slowly swallows Thanatos into misery, and it won't stop until Thanatos is nothing more than a mindless Shadow. The way he was supposed to be, his truth, so that he could fuse with Nyx once more and he could bring the Fall...

"I'm just being an idiot..."

Edited 2009-08-31 10:53 (UTC)

[Sitting. Watching. Completely silent. But even in this kind of state, there's always that Martyr complex under the surface. Where even if he loses the will to fight, as long as there's someone or something to fight for... It's enough to knock away a bit of that smoke in his mind. Enough to narrow his eyes as he calls himself an idiot.

Enough to lunge forward and knock him to the ground, resting his head on the other's chest and trying to calm his strained breathing. Still hurts moving made it worse but goddamnit I'm going through this right now to try and keep you from knowing what's happening. I'm sorry I'm letting you down. But he closes his eyes, coughing a few times and listening to the other's heartbeat softly pounding in his ears. It's calming, which in turn makes it a bit easier to deal with Erebus, who just got one hell of a power boost from all of the malice still floating around the mall so thickly it's practically visible.]

Liar.

[I know there's something wrong, but I'm not going to force the truth out of you. But whatever it is, stop tearing yourself up over it.]

Orpheus' sudden lunge was a surprise to Thanatos, since usually it was always the other way around where Thanatos was the one who knocked Orpheus to the ground to lay on. However, once he feels Orpheus' head against his chest, Thanatos just lets himself relax. This was all right, after all it was what he's been wanting ever since he realized that Orpheus was avoiding him for some unknown reason. At Orpheus' coughs and then his one word, Thanatos whimpers... Yes, he was a liar but how was he supposed to explain this?

"Orpheus, I... I'm so sorry. No matter what I do, I fail...

You know that, right? That's why you... You're giving up like this. I can feel it, due to Erebus..."

Damn, he didn't mean for his voice to sound so hollow... It was already too late now, if Thanatos wasn't tearing himself up over this then Erebus sure was. He lifts both hands to his face this time and finds more tears. This hopeless feeling in his chest was like his nightmares slowly coming to life... Very slowly. After all, he wasn't crying blood yet. Yet. He only kept control now because Orpheus was there against him, he had to ... He had to protect Orpheus. If Orpheus wanted the Fall to occur, then that was all right...

... Right?

[Blink. ... So he already knew. So it was pointless to try avoiding him anyway. Hoping that it was just a temporary thing so that he'd never find out. Because what kind of messiah loses faith in those he saved? Especially in the manner that he did. He was always bitter. Having to stand on the side and watch as those very same people he saved just got worse - wished for their deaths and fueled Erebus even moreso. But he still had faith in them. Humanity can change, they can always change...

But when someone else makes you question that resolve...

That was the problem here. Not that he had given up entirely. Because even if he lost faith, he'd still put up a fight. Still stubborn to a frightening degree. Still willing to face off against a cosmic horror just because he refused to back down. But no. Instead, something happened that made him realize there was no point. You're just throwing your life away for a race that doesn't give a shit either way... so why bother?]

It's... not you. I... It's my...

["It's all my fault." Seizes momentarily, his entire frame convulsing just from the combination of Erebus and trying to push himself this far. Still trying his hardest to keep too much of it from touching down on Thanatos, even if it is starting to fail. Even if he's losing the strength to say anything else. Merely burying his face in the other's chest and a hand tightening in the fabric of his suit. Shaking, but still trying to hold it back. If only for his sake.]

At those convulsions, Thanatos immediately removes his hands from his face and holds the already buried Orpheus even more so to his chest. Then as Orpheus clutches onto the fabric of his suit, Thanatos' Shadow hand finds Orpheus' hair and gently preens through the soft, blue strands.

"O-Orpheus... Come on, don't hold back the suffering Erebus is causing you just because I'm here. You've always taken care of me, so now it's my turn to take care of you no matter what state you're in. I've always been the one to need you, but you need me more than ever right now. I'm not about to ever abandon you...

There's still hope, Orpheus."

[Hope, huh... ha. If only. Even though you say that, there's no way he'd willingly back down and let Erebus near you. Dealt with worse attacks than this and came out relatively unscathed, even though those were under different circumstances. But it's best not to think about it. Not when there's that healing aura in his presence, his voice saying... something. It started to taper off at the end as his focus wavered. But at least you can still vaguely feel that hand in-- wait a minute.

It takes a second to wrench himself from your suit, but once it happens it's just a few seconds before his hand latches onto the other's. Immediately freezing afterwards, completely. Quickly turning into a death vice on his hand. You're in this condition and you're still worrying about me? No. No way.

Not saying anything. Can't at this point, not that he'd trust himself either way. But his hand tightens on yours even more, if it was possible. You really expected me to let that damned demon goat near you when you're... ugh you're such an idiot sometimes.]

Thanatos was holding still so that his Assistant could get the beloved healing aura while against his chest to protect him from Erebus, so when Orpheus wrenches away from his suit he's a little surprised and is even more so when Orpheus grabs his hand in that death vice. He knows it's too late now, Orpheus knows about his condition so he simply lets Orpheus grip even tighter against his hand, even as it flickers into Shadow fragments. He had no control over what was happening to him, Erebus was already near enough to do this. It wouldn't be too long until he was coughing up Erebus goo all over again, just like last time Erebus got to him this well. Meanwhile, all he wanted to do was lean into Orpheus and give him that healing aura that he so desperately needs right no. He can't even say anything either, just clutches tightly onto Orpheus' suit with his non-Shadow hand while the other is kept by Orpheus. When he finally is able to speak... He finds the words he wants to say just won't come.

[Sorry Thanatos. Immediately sitting upright, letting go of the other in favor of resting his head in his hands. Curling into himself as his breathing gets worse. Rasped, like someone's choking him, shoulders already shaking. But it's obvious what he's doing within a few moments. Especially when that shadow hand of yours starts resolidifying itself.

Mentally thowing himself inbetween you and that giant monster. Trying to take the suffering for the both of you, or at the very least lessen Thanatos'. So what if it makes mine worse, slowly decreasing the time limit I have left. Can't deal with this hurts too much oh god make it stop but no. Grit your teeth and bear it because it's all for his sake, isn't it?]

'O-Orpheus, no! Stop, please..."

Lunges right at and wraps his arms around Orpheus' chest, finding his hands gripping onto the fabric of the back of his suit. Meanwhile, his face is immediately buried right against Orpheus' chest as he sobs. "Stop making it worse for you! I'll be fine, you're the one who's suffering right now."

[But you'll be the one suffering later, which is why he's still trying. Hopefully avert it's target in the best case scenario, try and lessen your agony in the worst case. Even though he knows doing this wrong. That his presence shouldn't be placed between them at all like this, let alone for this long. And it's not long before one of his arms falls, gripping onto Thanatos in a death vice. Head hanging on his as his breathing gets worse. More halted, seizing completely at times when you feel his body do the same, taking the damage that's meant for you as best as he can.

Until he locks up completely. Strained gasp. Inhale, voice breaking during so in a last attempt to speak. But failing. Shoving his face into your shoulder, buried in the fabric of your suit and screaming. It's only once, only lasting for a few seconds, only leaving him shaking in your embrace because his nerves are so completely shot from doing something that stupid. But his presence isn't there between you anymore, and for someone who always takes it in pure silence... Two and two. At least most of the damage that was meant for you is gone now? this was all my fault to begin with i'm so sorry thanatos just put up with me a bit longer just... let me stay here for a while]

Thanatos does nothing at all to push Orpheus off of his person, if anything he only welcomes Orpheus' presence still against his body like it was now. He knew even if Orpheus did something so utterly stupid, he was doing it for him... That was... How could Thanatos not be thankful? However, why would Orpheus...? He had been suffering so much already, and Thanatos almost didn't realize tears began to fall from his own eyes again as Orpheus did what he did... Unable to stop him at his state, Thanatos' clinging to Orpheus was even more tight after that scream against his shoulder, and he knew Orpheus... Orpheus wasn't one to scream, to show pain due to Erebus, unless it truely hurt. All Thanatos could do once it was over with was clutch onto Orpheus and allow him to soak up the healing aura of Death that came with Orpheus being his Assistant and himself being Orpheus' lifeline, the Fusionist. Even if it wouldn't help in the long run... It was always there for Orpheus. Always.

His now normal hand (How normal can a Shadow be...) releases from Orpheus' suit while the other continues to cling there. His hand once again finds its way to stroke the blue strands of Orpheus' hair... So soft, his Assistant was...

"Thank you... I never thank you enough, do I? Everything you've done for me like this... Thank you. I love you so much, Orpheus..."

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Where did this come from I don't even // OPEN

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I'M SO TIRED THAT MY 'STYLE' CHANGED GJ SELF

FGT GO BACK TO BED >:[

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