Where did this come from I don't even // OPEN

[itsnotaleash]

Thanatos wasn't sure what was going on through his head when he stepped foot in front of this quite familiar door... It was still locked up tight with unbreakable chains, however, dark smoke continued to trickle out from the slight opening at the bottom. Had it really been seven months since he tried to destroy this door until Igor put the chains on it? He could even see the caution tape that had first been put on under the chains. As he set his hand against the door, he realized that lately, it felt like that same smoke trickled out from his own mind. There had been a while where he had true hope, hope he could save Orpheus from ceasing to exist... Until Orpheus started to avoid him, his nightmares became worse and the ancient books he read started to make less sense than usual. Without Orpheus working at his side Thanatos was working slower, without the usual enthusiasm... Once again in a state of utter uselessness.

See, Thanatos knew Orpheus was falling apart from the seams even if Orpheus thought he was oblivious. How could he not notice when he was connected to Orpheus in a way no one else was? He also knew it was all his fault, he had Orpheus promise him not to leave, but... As Orpheus lost hope, so did Thanatos. As much as he loved Orpheus, how could he save someone who didn't want to be saved, who wanted to just cease to exist? It hurt, knowing Orpheus would rather cease to exist then stay...

Thanatos cries out suddenly and wrenches his hand away from the now roaring with laughter door, bringing his hand up to his face as he watches it fade away into Shadow. That was all he was, wasn't he? A Shadow... Ameno-Sagiri's voice was still at the back of his head, booming loudly about the 'truth.'

He touches his still Shadow hand up to his face and finds he can't hold in the tears anymore. He drops to his knees, sobbing his heart out with no remorse. If Orpheus didn't want to be his Assistant, then no one wanted to. He was... A failure as a Fusionist. A failure as anyone... Except as a Shadow. ... No, that wasn't true. He was a failure as a Shadow, as well. He was never supposed to exist... Damn it, what happened to when he was happy with Orpheus...?

"Orpheus, I just didn't want to be alone like this... I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

Comments

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

Thanatos was holding still so that his Assistant could get the beloved healing aura while against his chest to protect him from Erebus, so when Orpheus wrenches away from his suit he's a little surprised and is even more so when Orpheus grabs his hand in that death vice. He knows it's too late now, Orpheus knows about his condition so he simply lets Orpheus grip even tighter against his hand, even as it flickers into Shadow fragments. He had no control over what was happening to him, Erebus was already near enough to do this. It wouldn't be too long until he was coughing up Erebus goo all over again, just like last time Erebus got to him this well. Meanwhile, all he wanted to do was lean into Orpheus and give him that healing aura that he so desperately needs right no. He can't even say anything either, just clutches tightly onto Orpheus' suit with his non-Shadow hand while the other is kept by Orpheus. When he finally is able to speak... He finds the words he wants to say just won't come.

[clockstopped]

[Sorry Thanatos. Immediately sitting upright, letting go of the other in favor of resting his head in his hands. Curling into himself as his breathing gets worse. Rasped, like someone's choking him, shoulders already shaking. But it's obvious what he's doing within a few moments. Especially when that shadow hand of yours starts resolidifying itself.

Mentally thowing himself inbetween you and that giant monster. Trying to take the suffering for the both of you, or at the very least lessen Thanatos'. So what if it makes mine worse, slowly decreasing the time limit I have left. Can't deal with this hurts too much oh god make it stop but no. Grit your teeth and bear it because it's all for his sake, isn't it?]

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

'O-Orpheus, no! Stop, please..."

Lunges right at and wraps his arms around Orpheus' chest, finding his hands gripping onto the fabric of the back of his suit. Meanwhile, his face is immediately buried right against Orpheus' chest as he sobs. "Stop making it worse for you! I'll be fine, you're the one who's suffering right now."

[clockstopped]

[But you'll be the one suffering later, which is why he's still trying. Hopefully avert it's target in the best case scenario, try and lessen your agony in the worst case. Even though he knows doing this wrong. That his presence shouldn't be placed between them at all like this, let alone for this long. And it's not long before one of his arms falls, gripping onto Thanatos in a death vice. Head hanging on his as his breathing gets worse. More halted, seizing completely at times when you feel his body do the same, taking the damage that's meant for you as best as he can.

Until he locks up completely. Strained gasp. Inhale, voice breaking during so in a last attempt to speak. But failing. Shoving his face into your shoulder, buried in the fabric of your suit and screaming. It's only once, only lasting for a few seconds, only leaving him shaking in your embrace because his nerves are so completely shot from doing something that stupid. But his presence isn't there between you anymore, and for someone who always takes it in pure silence... Two and two. At least most of the damage that was meant for you is gone now? this was all my fault to begin with i'm so sorry thanatos just put up with me a bit longer just... let me stay here for a while]

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

Thanatos does nothing at all to push Orpheus off of his person, if anything he only welcomes Orpheus' presence still against his body like it was now. He knew even if Orpheus did something so utterly stupid, he was doing it for him... That was... How could Thanatos not be thankful? However, why would Orpheus...? He had been suffering so much already, and Thanatos almost didn't realize tears began to fall from his own eyes again as Orpheus did what he did... Unable to stop him at his state, Thanatos' clinging to Orpheus was even more tight after that scream against his shoulder, and he knew Orpheus... Orpheus wasn't one to scream, to show pain due to Erebus, unless it truely hurt. All Thanatos could do once it was over with was clutch onto Orpheus and allow him to soak up the healing aura of Death that came with Orpheus being his Assistant and himself being Orpheus' lifeline, the Fusionist. Even if it wouldn't help in the long run... It was always there for Orpheus. Always.

His now normal hand (How normal can a Shadow be...) releases from Orpheus' suit while the other continues to cling there. His hand once again finds its way to stroke the blue strands of Orpheus' hair... So soft, his Assistant was...

"Thank you... I never thank you enough, do I? Everything you've done for me like this... Thank you. I love you so much, Orpheus..."