Thanatos and Orpheus // Private Thread for the Win

[itsnotaleash]

[When the pageant was over, Thanatos didn't bother to stick around any longer than he had to. Ameno-Sagiri's words still boomed in the back of his conscious as if the other Shadow was still right there. To Thanatos, anything that was once familiar made no sense. Just when he finally began to accept he was Death... More had to happen that would cause him to feel uncomfortable about his existence. Was his heart really nothing more than just a lie? He had been so happy at the pageant. Yet, it seems happiness was only temporary when you were Death incarnate. So here Thanatos was, all alone, with a serving of unagi don in his hands to try and settle his stomach. Unfortunately, the sweet taste of eel wasn't making him feel any better. A glance outside then made him feel even worse. The fog was still in sight.]

... Lies hurt just as much as the truth? Yeah, right.

Comments

[clockstopped]

...

[Sigh before business-mode kicks in to keep from beating him with a compendium on reflex.]

Master Thanatos, please give a concise answer or just tell me upfront that you do not wish to speak to me upon this matter.

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

... [Flinches.]

Ameno-Sagiri told me that the heart I have is a lie. That my existence was tainted from living inside of you for ten years.

Then he said that ... The Seal was going to shatter and I would lose you. You would cease to be... Lost forever because of Erebus...

[clockstopped]

[Chokes a bit at the second part, lifting a hand to cough into a few times before speaking. Let's... let's just see if he catches us ignoring that. D: orz] Well... it was "tainted" if you think of it from the eyes of a Shadow. ...But I don't think that's a bad thing. I like you this way.

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

[That coughing was so obvious. Even Thanatos could catch that as his heart clenches. Suddenly, he can't hold it in anymore and he starts to sob.] You're right. I... I mean, if my heart was a lie, it wouldn't hurt so much right now. Isn't that right?

I care about you so much...

So ... Why didn't you tell me?

[clockstopped]

[Wince as he starts to cry and then has to look away. That hurts more than anything else, and to know you're the cause of it? Just... ugh. Way to take a knife to the ribs and twist it, Ryoji.]

That's right... [Man what do you even say to that? Same tone as always, but now quieter and cracking just the slightest bit towards the end.] I know. I just... Didn't want you to know...

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

Well, now I know...

It doesn't matter that I'm a Shadow with a heart... I'll lose you.

[clockstopped]

[The words stumble at first, but even out to just slightly slower then rapid-fire. Because once it's all said, then he's going to start sobbing again and you won't be able to say a thing. Still not looking though, that would the the last nail in the metaphorical coffin.]

That's why I keep telling you not to rely on me so much. You need to understand that I don't want you follow me not because I don't want you there... It's because you have your own life and you need to find your own reason for living. Not using another as an excuse... I just wish you had figured that out on your own.

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

O... Orpheus... You can't just cease to exist. I won't allow that to happen!

I mean ... How am I supposed to find my reason for living when it's already been laid out for me? My only purpose was to welcome the Fall. So without you... The one who gave me this heart... What am I? I wouldn't be a Shadow and I wouldn't be a human... Even Igor wouldn't want anything to do with me if you weren't there as my Assistant.

[clockstopped]

Igor explained the situation when I first came back. We both thought it was best you didn't know until you were ready..... But there's nothing you can do.

[Not looking at him doesn't help. The voice is still enough to a guilt trip to make his her shoulders start shaking before standing up.] I'm not the one who can give you those answers... Just try and come back tonight?

[And then a brisk attempt to leave. It was already bad enough to crack in front of Miwako, but... she stayed quiet about it. He didn't know a thing. In front of Thanatos as he is now is... no, just in front of him at all is unforgivable.]

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

... Wait, don't leave me alone...

[clockstopped]

[Gone from your line of vision, but the tell-tale clicking stops. And hesitates. Then resumes again, but slower. And also heading back until it stops right behind the bench yet again. Come on, composure composureeeee. Which doesn't help since the voice cracks anyway.]

I won't... Not yet. I promise.

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

Then stay here with me for now.

[clockstopped]

[Doesn't say anything, but moves to sit on the end of the beck, eyes closed and head bowed. Mutual distance, sigh.]

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

[Sets the unagi don to his side and then scoots closer to Orpheus. Have a Thanatos leaning onto your shoulder.]

[clockstopped]

[Enjoy your gratuitous cleavage! D-size brand, no less. Though this one doesn't notice. Simply rests her head on top of his, a few stray blue strands falling into the other's line of vision.]

I-... I'm sorry for not telling you...

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

...It's all right ...I mean, what could you have told me? I would have felt this way no matter what.

[clockstopped]

I would rather have told you than that...... [AUGH, GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS AMENO.]

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

Ameno-Sagiri... I have to stop him from doing what he wants. He says Mankind's desires are his desires. That's... Utter bullshit. Shadows should just stop deciding the fate of humans!

[clockstopped]

That's not our place. That would be Seta's.

... But if Shadows are a form of repressed emotion, then... [Quiet sigh. Though the shoulder you're chilling on tenses. Thinking of a certain goat bastard on this part.] If that's how humanity feels, then all we can do is keep that desire from coming to pass.

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

It's not our place to do anything anymore... I know.

I just don't understand why Erebus exists. Why do humans not love life as much as I do? I'm a Shadow! I shouldn't even love in the first place!

[clockstopped]

As long as you understand.

........ [Can't answer what we don't know the answer to. :<<<]

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

... [Clutches at his face.] I have to do something... Anything!

I won't just let you cease to exist.

[clockstopped]

[Not again sigh. Wraps an arm around him in a half hug while the other grabs one his hands to pull it away. Stop that.] You don't have to do anything.

There's nothing that can be done... And I'm fine with that. You should be, too.

[itsnotaleash.livejournal.com]

How can you be fine with that? [Just kind of slumps with his free hand still clutching at his face. His hope is draining now with those words.] I was supposed to be the one who took you to your true Death. Now I can't even do that!

[clockstopped]

[That's the thing - he's not fine with it. It's why you get nothing but silence for an answer, though the grip on his shoulder tightens a bit.]